Tips On Blending In

                                                          October 14th. Vol. 3

So here are the latest happenings in Iraq.  We actually got rain. This is why it has taken me so long to write this new masterpiece for the sand box news. I actually have no idea how that applies, but I am trying my hardest to divert your attention that I am a complete slacker.

As the title hints, I am trying to blend in with the locals here.  I am currently in my third week of growing what I like to refer to as "fur for my face". I am growing a beard. During the first week I had to endure the constant comments like "Hey, did you lose your razor" and "Dude, there is dirt on your face."  It was during my second week, which I so lovingly refer to as the "itchy scratchy phase" that I almost gave in and shaved it off. If you have never attempted growing fur for your face, I suggest a trial run of some sort to see if you can handle week two.

For this trial run you will need to apply a coat of honey to your face and then stick on fiberglass insulation.  After you have completed that step, go to a beehive and kick it while taunting the bees saying "Look, look at me I got honey on my face. After that you should be ready to grow facial fur. Week three has gone by swimmingly smooth. I now understand why people with beards appear so smart.  I have found myself taking my hand with my thumb on one side of my chin and my index finger on the other and slowly moving them in a downward motion to the end of my chin. It makes me look like I am constantly in deep thought.  This action does actually apply in some situations though. Like the time where I was on the can, stroking my facial fur thinking "why did I go to the taco bar a second time."  It worked quite well in that situation.  Ok, enough of that.

It seems pretty surreal to me actually being over here.  Like, the other night I was driving our suburban on Bakadakalaka Street going back to our living quarters listening to rap music. I am for some reason in a rap phase, so don't be a hater. It was just like driving back in Texas except there was an Apache helicopter on my left side firing tracers and rockets into the ground.  Just like I-35W going past Rosedale.

On a rather large side note, my birthday is coming up on October 29th. This is a shameful ploy to see how many gifts I can rack up while over here playing in the sand.  So, the gifts need to be mailed out this week if you want me to be happy on my birthday.   If you don't send anything, you apparently don't care about me or fighting terrorism... Commie. No pressure.

It looks like we will be getting some better internet in the office so I may be able to upload some pictures of me and my facial fur.  Hope everything is going well with everyone over there.  Getting ready to goback to the house and play on the Wii. Till next time.

Steve-0